Welcome to The Hoosier Illuminati. Macintosh bigot, clothes horse, motorsports fanatic (as long as they turn right), Anglophile.

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance. --Henry Ward Beecher

Things I’m really beginning to hate

Comcast. I wonder if it has ever occurred to them that while I’m on hold waiting to report my cable being out (again) may not be the optimum time to ask me if I’ve tried to contact them through their website or to try to sell me Digital Voice telephone service.  Well, if I could contact them through their website I wouldn’t need to be calling them.  If I had Digital Voice I couldn’t contact them. 

‘Cause the cable’s out. 

Where’s Verizon with my FiOS cable? 

Brown. Yes, the color brown.  I am f-ing sick of the color brown.  Sick to death.  There ARE other colors.  Really. 

The MSM. You know, the fundamentals aren’t really all that bad, but they’re going to talk down the economy every stinking chance they get until until they get their guy elected.  But Obama is going to magically fix it all.  Yeah.  Meanwhile a whole lot of people are going through a whole lot of pain. 

Thunderstorms. Is it possible that we could go three consecutive days without a friggin thunderstorm?  That’s not so much to ask, is it? 

NASCAR.  To be completely fair, I’ve always hated NASCAR with a burning passion, but it has been SO obnoxious lately that I’ve actually begun to hate it even more.  It’s professional wresting in automobiles. 

GM. It’s hard to imagine how one company can be so consistently clueless, but by God they manage to accomplish it.  Can anyone explain why GM needs twelve divisions, all of which sell largely the same crap with different name tags?  Can anyone explain why GMC even exists?  Toyota manages to get by with just Toyota, Scion and Lexus.  Honda does with Honda and Acura.  Betcha GM could whittle away a division or eight.  They should have been doing this for 30 years instead of waiting until they went bankrupt. 

Microsoft.  They’re making GM look really bright.  Go ahead, Monkey Boy, quit selling XP.  Know who’s smiling about that?  Apple.  People don’t want Vista, Fester.  They’re not going to like it any better now that you’re trying to ram it down their throats.  But hey, it’s going to sell a ton of iMacs and MacBooks.  Bill knew when to get out. 

Muncie.  The entire city of Muncie.  Why can’t they figure out that nobody goes downtown because there’s nowhere to park?  They still can’t figure out why their hotel closed.  Gosh, I don’t know, maybe it’s because there’s about twelve parking spaces in that lot?  And it’s right next to a railroad track.  And because it’s DOWNTOWN where there is absolutely nothing else.  Ball Stores and Ball Corp and Chevy and Delco and Westinghouse and Warner Gear are gone.  There is a reason for that.  I know what it is.  Why don’t you?  Why can’t they figure out that Prairie Creek Reservoir shouldn’t go into its third decade of operating at a loss, even if favorite son Ron Bonham was the janitor superintendent there for all that money losing time. 

Everyone screaming for property tax reform. You morons didn’t really think you weren’t going to give the government that money if they did away with the property tax, did you?  Yeah, you did.  Because you’re idiots.  They’re the government.  They’re going to get that money.  Got a war to pay for.  And pay and pay and pay.  Doin’ a helluva job, Bushie. 

Emeril Lagasse. Bam this, wanker.  See also: Rachael Ray.  Just a little hint, Rach, if you tell us that EVOO is an abbreviation for ‘extra virgin olive oil’ every time you use it, the abbreviation loses some of its worth.  I don’t even know how it’s possible for Paula Deen to still be alive.  Put a pound of butter in everything and it’s just a matter of time. 

Did I mention brown?  Because I really, really hate brown anymore. 

I’ll probably think of some more later, this is right off the top of my head.