Welcome to The Hoosier Illuminati. Macintosh bigot, clothes horse, motorsports fanatic (as long as they turn right), Anglophile.

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance. --Henry Ward Beecher

The Steve is OK, everyone can relax.

The stock idiots have been going insane since The Steve announced that Phil Schiller is giving the keynote at Apple’s last appearance at Macworld.  They can’t imagine how a guy who lived through pancreatic cancer, which kills most people in about six months, might look a little thin and pasty, and they’ve come to the conclusion that he must therefore be dying.  Again.

So The Steve finally addressed the rumors this morning.

January 5, 2009
Letter from Apple CEO Steve Jobs

Dear Apple Community,

For the first time in a decade, I’m getting to spend the holiday season with my family, rather than intensely preparing for a Macworld keynote.

Unfortunately, my decision to have Phil deliver the Macworld keynote set off another flurry of rumors about my health, with some even publishing stories of me on my deathbed.

I’ve decided to share something very personal with the Apple community so that we can all relax and enjoy the show tomorrow.

As many of you know, I have been losing weight throughout 2008. The reason has been a mystery to me and my doctors. A few weeks ago, I decided that getting to the root cause of this and reversing it needed to become my #1 priority.

Fortunately, after further testing, my doctors think they have found the cause—a hormone imbalance that has been “robbing” me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy. Sophisticated blood tests have confirmed this diagnosis.

The remedy for this nutritional problem is relatively simple and straightforward, and I’ve already begun treatment. But, just like I didn’t lose this much weight and body mass in a week or a month, my doctors expect it will take me until late this Spring to regain it. I will continue as Apple’s CEO during my recovery.

I have given more than my all to Apple for the past 11 years now. I will be the first one to step up and tell our Board of Directors if I can no longer continue to fulfill my duties as Apple’s CEO. I hope the Apple community will support me in my recovery and know that I will always put what is best for Apple first.

So now I’ve said more than I wanted to say, and all that I am going to say, about this.

Steve

Apple’s Board of Directors also issued a statement saying that The Steve is still The Steve until further notice. 

January 5, 2009
Statement by Apple’s Board of Directors

It is widely recognized both inside and outside of Apple that Steve Jobs is one of the most talented and effective CEOs in the world.

As we have said before, if there ever comes a day when Steve wants to retire or for other reasons cannot continue to fulfill his duties as Apple’s CEO, you will know it.

Apple is very lucky to have Steve as its leader and CEO, and he deserves our complete and unwavering support during his recuperation. He most certainly has that from Apple and its Board.

Sorry, Apple haters, the iCEO is fine.  As of this writing, AAPL is +2.38 on the news that there is no news. 

Every 30GB Microsoft Zune crashes.

OK, so every 30GB Zune is about, what, 150 of them?  But they all blew up at once because someone at Microsoft didn’t account for a leap year, and they simply… stopped.

But at least Microsoft was totally there with a fix:  Wait until 2009, it’s not a leap year.  I’m not making that up. 

Early this morning we were alerted by our customers that there was a widespread issue affecting our 2006 model Zune 30GB devices (a large number of which are still actively being used). The technical team jumped on the problem immediately and isolated the issue: a bug in the internal clock driver related to the way the device handles a leap year. That being the case, the issue should be resolved over the next 24 hours as the time change moves to January 1, 2009. We expect the internal clock on the Zune 30GB devices will automatically reset tomorrow (noon, GMT). By tomorrow you should allow the battery to fully run out of power before the unit can restart successfully then simply ensure that your device is recharged, then turn it back on. If you’re a Zune Pass subscriber, you may need to sync your device with your PC to refresh the rights to the subscription content you have downloaded to your device.

You’ve GOT to be kidding me.  This is why when I have a usable alternative to Microsoft technologies I’ll always use it.  That’s just embarrassing. 

Merry Christmas from Hoosier Illuminati

And our good Hoosier friends from Straight No Chaser, as talented a group of lads as I’ve heard in a long, long time.

Anybody else remember

When the After-Christmas sales started, well, after Christmas?  Every time I look up today there’s another e-mail about yet another after-Christmas sale.

Maybe one of them will do me right on that HDTV I lust for. 

Paging Al Gore

You were wrong.

I mean, no offense or anything, I’m sure you meant well.

But boy were you wrong.  I mean, really, really wrong, and you can just STFU now. 

Thanks,
The Hoosier Illuminati

P.S.—If the polar bears still need a place to live, tell them to try Indiana.  It may be a little cold for them here, but I’m sure they’ll get used to it.

Hemrajani Tailors visiting Carmel in February

It’s that time again, our friends from Hemrajani Tailors are visiting Carmel on Saturday, February 21.  Ram Keswani will be at the Doubletree.  Hit the website to make an appointment. 

I’m thinking about something in double breasted brown…

Back to his old tricks.

McCain is working on trying to regain his status as the Democrats’ favorite “Republican” this weekend.  A few quotes from the “Republican” nominee:

Sen. John McCain said Sunday he would not necessarily support his former running mate if she chose to run for president.

Speaking to ABC’s “This Week,” McCain was asked whether Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin could count on his support.

“I can’t say something like that. We’ve got some great other young governors. I think you’re going to see the governors assume a greater leadership role in our Republican Party,” he said.

Way to repay her loyalty, Senator.  There was one honorable person in that entire campaign, as far as I can tell, and her name was Sarah.

In his first Sunday political TV appearance since November 4, McCain also promised to work to build consensus in tackling America’s challenges, and criticized his own party for its latest attack on Obama.

McCain rejected complaints from the Republican National Committee that Obama has not been transparent about his contacts with Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich.

“I think that the Obama campaign should and will give all information necessary,” McCain told ABC’s “This Week.”

“You know, in all due respect to the Republican National Committee and anybody—right now, I think we should try to be working constructively together, not only on an issue such as this, but on the economy, stimulus package, reforms that are necessary.”

Senator, people are working tirelessly to reinvigorate the economy.  Meanwhile, it IS still illegal to sell a U.S. Senate seat.  It’s even illegal when Democrats do it.  I know you’d rather do ANYTHING than criticize a Democrat, but seriously, this is a pretty significant crime. 

“I think my job is, of course, to be a part of, and hopefully exert some leadership, in the loyal opposition. But I emphasize the word loyal,” McCain said.

  You know, Senator, some of us would emphasize the word opposition.  That doesn’t mean you oppose for its own sake, but that you provide a conservative alternative to the… Oh, wait, now I see why you don’t understand that position.  You have no idea what a conservative alternative would look like, since you’re as much a liberal as Obama is. 

He pointed out that his poll numbers dropped along with the Dow.

“That would sound like I am detracting from President-elect Obama’s campaign. I don’t want to do that… Nobody likes a sore loser.”

Why would you criticize Obama now?  You wouldn’t even criticize him when you were running against him. 

Santa, if you’re out there, would you please give the Senate some conservatives?  Thanks. 

I got yer representative democracy right here.

The Corner rags on ethanol again

I don’t often disagree with the writers at The Corner, but I consistently and vehemently disagree with their take on ethanol, which they drag out on a far too frequent basis. 

Iain Murray writes:

I have to take issue with something Cliff says in his home page article today demanding more mandates on the auto industry (which is more than just Detroit, we should remember.) He asserts, “Those who claimed that using some corn to make ethanol was causing higher food prices were either misinformed (any number of journalists) or lying (those paid to protect oil’s monopoly).” I’m not sure whether Cliff thinks I am misinformed or lying, but the fact remains that ethanol is still causing food prices to be higher than they should be. As Cliff notes, when demand drops, prices fall, but to say that this proves ethanol had no role in increasing corn prices beggars belief.  Demand was high and supply was lowered thanks to the ethanol boondoggle. Now, demand has fallen, but supply is still constrained.  It is very good, of course, that the price drop means that the world’s poor have some relief, but they could have yet more without the ethanol boondoggle. As University of Illinois economist Steve Irwin points out, ethanol policies are actually the dominant backstop of corn prices, preventing them getting back to the equilibrium level. It is particularly significant that they have supplanted export demand. Using corn ethanol as fuel remains a significant tax on food, with its worst effects on the poor of the world. The fact that we’ve gone from crazy prices to just foolish prices as a result of the recession doesn’t change that.

(Full disclosure:  A member of my family works in the ethanol industry, but that has not changed my views on the matter at all.)

I don’t know where Iain Murray lives, but I’ll betcha any amount of money you want to wager that I live way closer to a corn field and to the farmers who grow it than he does.  Let me reassure Mr. Murray of this:  There is no shortage of corn.  Trust me, there is NO shortage of corn.  Family farmers aren’t going under every day because the price of corn is skyrocketing and filling their wallets to the brim.  If the price of food is increasing, decreased supplies of corn are not the reason. 

And, frankly, to be perfectly evil and Republican about it, the poor of the world are not our problem. 

Our problem is that our country has dropped the ball on the subject of energy independence.  The government has had since 1973 to begin to address the issue of the majority of our energy coming from a part of the world that hates us and wants us all dead.  The Detroit auto manufacturers, who we’re arguing about bailing out this week, have had the same amount of time to learn how to build energy-efficient cars or to develop alternative fuel sources.  Academia has had 36 years too, and all they’ve accomplished is to complain we’re killing too many animals and spoiling too much beautiful terra (like ANWR) with our nasty drilling and such.  Oil companies, of course, have no interest in creating oil alternatives. 

The beautiful thing about ethanol is that it’s a grassroots response to the inaction of government, the auto industry and academia.  The local ethanol plant here was started by a group of farmers and businessmen who decided that if the people who are SUPPOSED to be concerned about such things weren’t, by God THEY were going to do something about it and start creating renewable American sources of fuel.  People like Murray are full of problems but short on solutions.  Ethanol is a solution.  Is it THE solution?  Probably not, but it’s going to be part of the solution, and I’m proud to see American entrepreneurship and effort going into action to solve a situation that impacts each and every one of us. Particularly so when it’s clear that the government is simply not going to act on the issue. 

Auto manufacturers should be on notice that one of the deciding factors in my next vehicle purchase will be that manufacturer’s commitment to alternative fuels.  Not hybrids, but alternative fuels, and particularly E85 and biodiesels, which are made by my friends and family from products grown by my neighbors. 

One of the most patronizing things I’ve ever heard.

SPRINGFIELD, Ill. (AP) - The Illinois attorney general filed a motion with the state’s highest court Friday asking justices to strip scandal-plagued Gov. Rod Blagojevich of his powers.

Lisa Madigan took the action as pressure on the governor intensified to step down. Madigan scheduled a news conference in Chicago Friday morning to discuss the motion.

The move came as the governor prayed with several ministers in his home before heading to his office, telling them he is innocent and will be vindicated “when you hear each chapter completely written,” according to one of the pastors.

Are you kidding me?  Is this the same guy who, in a profanity-laced tirade (recorded for posterity by the FBI), referred to Obama as a “motherf**ker?”

Rod Blagojevich is clearly the most condescending, patronizing, crooked jerkoff ever to sit in the Illinois governor’s chair.  And that’s saying something.  Why is the fallback position for politicians, particularly Democrat politicians, always to meet with a bunch of preachers after getting caught with their, er… hands in the er… cookie jar? 

He sure SOUNDS like a Republican…

Not.

The Republican party must stop “shouting at the world” and start listening to minority groups if it is to win elections in the 21st century, former Secretary of State Colin Powell said Thursday.

In an interview with CNN’s Fareed Zakaria for Sunday’s “GPS” program, President Bush’s former secretary of state said his party’s attempt “to use polarization for political advantage” backfired last month.

“I think the party has to take a hard look at itself,” Powell said in the interview, which was taped Wednesday. “There is nothing wrong with being conservative. There is nothing wrong with having socially conservative views — I don’t object to that. But if the party wants to have a future in this country, it has to face some realities. In another 20 years, the majority in this country will be the minority.”

Powell, who crossed party lines and endorsed President-elect Barack Obama just weeks before the election, said the GOP must see what is in the “hearts and minds” of African-American, Hispanic and Asian voters “and not just try to influence them by… the principles and dogma.”

“I think the party has to stop shouting at the world and at the country,"Powell said. “I think that the party has to take a hard look at itself, and I’ve talked to a number of leaders in recent weeks and they understand that.” Powell, who says he still considers himself a Republican, said his party should also stop listening to conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh.

“Can we continue to listen to Rush Limbaugh?” Powell asked. “Is this really the kind of party that we want to be when these kinds of spokespersons seem to appeal to our lesser instincts rather than our better instincts?”

So… the Republican Party shouldn’t stand on principle?  Not according to Powell, there’s nothing we should believe in, there’s nothing we should stand against.  We just need to take a poll of every minority group you can think of and simply do what they say.  Minority lobbyists should be placed in charge of writing GOP policy documents, and Rush Limbaugh should probably just be killed for his heretical espousing of conservative doctrine. 

Colin Powell is not and has never been either a conservative or a Republican.  If he were he surely wouldn’t have a problem with Rush Limbaugh. 

The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.

Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. said Wednesday he openly sought appointment to Barack Obama’s Senate seat but denied offering favors in return to Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich and said he was not involved “whatsoever in any wrongdoing.”

A lawyer for Jackson acknowledged that the Illinois Democrat is “Senate Candidate 5” in the 76-page federal complaint filed against Blagojevich, who was arrested Tuesday. Wiretapped conversations suggest Blagojevich felt the candidate would raise campaign money for him in exchange for being appointed to the Senate seat vacated by the president-elect.

The governor was quoted as saying the person made a “pay to play” proposal, a term for a payment in exchange for a political favor. “That, you know, he’d raise me 500 grand” for future political campaigns, the governor said in the wiretapped conversation.

Blagojevich went on to say, “An emissary came. Then the other guy would raise a million, if I made” Jackson a senator. The complaint did not specify whether the $500,000 and $1 million would have been raised by the same person.

Four years of Chicago Democrat machine politics.  Four YEARS.   

You stay classy, Rod.

This story just keeps getting better and better. 

“I’ve got this thing and it’s f***ing golden, and, uh, uh, I’m just not giving it up for f***in’ nothing. I’m not gonna do it. And I can always use it. I can parachute me there,” [Democrat] Blagojevich said in a phone call secretly recorded by the FBI on Nov. 5, the day after the election, according to the affidavit.

The FBI affidavit said [Democrat] Blagojevich had been told by an adviser “the president-elect can get [Democrat] Rod Blagojevich’s wife on paid corporate boards in exchange for naming the president-elect’s pick to the Senate.”

Told by two other advisers he has to “suck it up” for two years, the FBI says it heard [Democrat] Blagojevich complain he has to give this “[Democrat] motherf***er [the president-elect] his senator. F*** him. For nothing? F*** him.”

The [Democrat] governor is heard saying he will pick another candidate “before I just give f***ing [Senate Candidate l] a f***ing Senate seat and I don’t get anything.”

Dude was going to sell a US Senate seat.    If I might paraphrase the soon-to-be Democrat ex-governor, that’s f***ing brilliant. 

Corruption in Illinois Politics??!?!

Say it ain’t so, Rod!

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich was arrested Tuesday on charges of conspiring to get financial benefits through his authority to appoint a U.S. senator to fill the vacancy left by Barack Obama’s election as president.

According to a federal criminal complaint, Blagojevich also was charged with illegally threatening to withhold state assistance to Tribune Co., the owner of the Chicago Tribune, in the sale of Wrigley Field. In return for state assistance, Blagojevich allegedly wanted members of the paper’s editorial board who had been critical of him fired.

This is shocking… why? 

Edit:  I need to edit the story to note that Governor Blagojevich is a Democrat. 

Not that the matter was ever in question. 

Blackberry Storm OS Upgrade

This OS upgrade has been leaked for a couple of weeks now, but call me crazy, I don’t just download upgrades from people on the internet who say, “Trust me.”

But Verizon made it available directly from them on Friday, and I finally got around to installing it today.  Every problem I had with the Storm (and there weren’t many) magically disappeared.  The OS is significantly more responsive, the accelerometer appears to be 100% now.  (It had an issue before where it occasionally would stick in one orientation or the other.) I really wish they’d figure out how to do a Blackberry upgrade that doesn’t cause me to have to do Enterprise Activation again, but that’s just a time-wasting PITA kind of issue. 

I can now recommend the Blackberry Storm without reservation.  There are a few included apps that still need a little work, specifically the Facebook app, and they still need to take another look at Safari on the iPhone to see how a browser should work in this form factor, but it’s still a brilliant device.