Welcome to The Hoosier Illuminati. Macintosh bigot, clothes horse, motorsports fanatic (as long as they turn right), Anglophile.

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance. --Henry Ward Beecher

Good to know.

The liar says:

The item in today’s Drudge Report is categorically untrue. There has been absolutely no discussion about having Sarah Palin on my show. At the beginning of this Presidential campaign when I decided that I was going to take my first public stance in support of a candidate, I made the decision not to use my show as a platform for any of the candidates. I agree that Sarah Palin would be a fantastic interview, and I would love to have her on after the campaign is over.

Clearly. 

FYI, Senator Obama has appeared on Ms. Winfrey’s un-platform not once but twice. 

Mind you, I don’t have a problem with this.  I don’t think Rush Limbaugh must be under any obligation to have BO on as a guest, so it would be intellectually dishonest to insist that Ms. Winfrey should be compelled to have Governor Palin on (despite her bluster about raising up women to be everything they can be.) My only problem is her saying that she is not going to use her program as a platform for any candidate.  It’s not even a good lie, but it IS a lie. 

I’d have far more respect for Ms. Winfrey if she’d simply say that it’s her show and she’ll only have people she likes and supports as guests, and that Governor Palin doesn’t qualify.  Don’t lie about not using your show to promote specific candidates, you’ve already done it.  Just tell the truth, for god’s sake. 

The GP of Belgium

One of my favorite Grands Prix is this weekend, the Grand Prix of Belgium.  One of the world’s greatest circuits, Spa Francorchamps.

Located in the middle of the Ardennes Forest, the venue is just gorgeous, amazing vistas.  The track has elevations, it has some classic corners; Eau Rouge, Blanchimont, Stavelot… There’s almost always a threat of rain at Spa, the odds of it being a wet race are usually pretty good. 

If I could only watch one F1 race a year it would have to be Monaco, of course, but if I could only watch two?  Spa would be my easy choice. 

Who needs ‘em?

Governor Palin and I were in college at about the same time they had their last hit.  They ought to just be happy anyone remembers.

By the way, if TMZ were to be even slightly honest, they’d admit that Ann hasn’t looked like the pic THEY ran since, well, since Governor Palin and I were in college.  We’re honest here.

That’ll leave a mark.

An excerpt from Governor Palin’s speech tonight:

“Before I became governor of the great state of Alaska, I was mayor of my hometown. And since our opponents in this presidential election seem to look down on that experience, let me explain to them what the job involves. I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a ‘community organizer,’ except that you have actual responsibilities.”

Ouch.  Better put some ice on that, B.O.

H/T: The Corner

Do I order that overcoat from Bookster today?

Or do I wait for the pound to submerge even more?

The pound dropped to $1.7838 as of 1:28 p.m. in London, from $1.8014 yesterday. It’s the first time it has traded below $1.79 in almost 2 1/2 years. The U.K. currency slipped to 81.64 pence per euro, its lowest level since the introduction of the single currency in 1999, and was last at 81.24, from 81.13.

I’m a bit confused as to how Bush could be screwing up the British currency too, it’s been pretty darned strong the whole time ours has been tanking.  What’s going on over there?

Brown proposed spending 1 billion pounds ($1.79 billion) sooner than planned to help the housing market recover from its worst slump in at least 18 years. Britain’s building industry shrank last month, a survey showed today. The pound slipped below $1.80 yesterday for the first time since April 2006 after Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling told the Guardian newspaper the U.K. faces its biggest economic slowdown in 60 years.

Don’t they realize that The Obama isn’t running for PM?  They don’t have to tank their economy too.  But I digress.

As little as two weeks ago the pound was worth almost $2.  Now suddenly it’s only $1.78 and dropping like a rock?  Go Gordon!  You’re saving me a ton of money on that coat, my good fellow.  I just wish you’d done it before I ordered the suit. 

Speaking of Palin…

How could I not vote for her?  Until I found out that she went to the University of Idaho I was almost positive that she was in my class at Ball State.  This chick is one of us. 

It’s a banner week for McCain

First Palin, now this.

(CNN) — President Bush and Vice President Cheney will skip the Republican Presidential Convention due to Hurricane Gustav, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino announced Sunday.

First Lady Laura Bush is still slated to attend.

It’s hard to imagine McCain not doing the Dance of Joy at the prospect of not having to stand up there in the traditional arms-raised pose with Bush. 

Change *WE* can believe in

To my opponents who charge that I am an elitist, I say sod off.  I AM an elitist, proudly so.  If I ever get to the point that I really don’t know how many houses I own, bully for me.  It means I am successful, clearly more successful than, well, than you. 

Because the leader of the Republican Party is a Democrat and the leader of the Democrat Party is a Marxist, it is clearly time for a legitimate third party.  I am therefore pleased to announce tonight that I am reforming the Bull Moose Party, to be rechristened the Elite Bull Moose Party. 

My platform is simple.  It benefits me.  And not just me, but people like me, people who don’t suffer fools gladly and are therefore not watching B. Hussein Obama weave his magic spell over the assembled throngs of morons in Denver.  (Why did we bother to build that big underground facility at DIA if we’re not going to use it this week?  WTF are they waiting for?)

First, all new interstate construction will be built with a third lane, and when interstates are rebuilt the third lane will be added.  The third lane is the Autobahn lane.  To drive in the Autobahn lane you will buy a special license plate with a $150 surcharge every year.  The speed limit in the Autobahn lane will be 100MPH.  If you are caught driving in the Autobahn lane without the authorizing plate you will be fined $500 for the first offense, $1500 for the second offense and you will lose your license for one year for the third offense.  If you are caught driving below 80MPH with an Autobahn tag in that lane your fines will be the same as if you drove there without authorization.  Autobahn tag holders will be permitted to drive 75MPH on normal roads.

It shall be an offense to write a check in a grocery store. 

Anti-smoking ordinances shall be rescinded in private establishments, they shall remain in effect in public establishments.  Business owners will have the right to decide for themselves if their establishments will permit smoking, that is not a question that government should enter into.  If government is so dashed insistent that smoking is a bad thing they should do the intellectually honest thing and devote 100% of tobacco tax revenues to smoking cessation programs, refusing to permit that kind of dirty money into the general fund.  Since apparently it ain’t THAT bad, the Elite Bull Moose party supports private property rights.  As for waitresses and other service staff in such establishments, nobody’s making you work there, are they?  (Disclaimer:  I don’t smoke, I never have.)

The Elite Bull Moose Party supports the effective elimination of Daylight Savings Time by moving to it on a permanent basis.  If saving all that daylight is good for the summer it’s good for the winter, and I won’t have to reset all my clocks again. 

When an individual is sentenced to death, the sentence will be carried out within the space of one year.  One full year is certainly sufficient time to make all appeals, and the courts will give priority to any inmates cases while he is “on the clock.” At midnight one year from the sentencing the warrant will be carried out. 

Before being issued a debit card, consumers will need to be able to prove their proficiency on a model ATM.

All states will be considered “must issue” states in terms of CCW, and all states will honor all other states’ CCWs reciprocally.  That 2nd Amendment thing says “shall not be infringed.”

My government will assist in terms of tax abatements and other incentives to persuade oil companies to increase their refining capacity. 

There will be more things as I think of them. 

An open letter to that woman who is ALWAYS in front of me at the ATM

(OK, it’s not always the exact same woman, but it’s always the same KIND of woman, and she really needs to be told this.)

It’s an ATM.  The first modern ATM was installed in the late 1960s, so they’ve been around for a while. 

There’s nothing new about this. 

They’re very simple.  You’re not launching a space shuttle, you’re getting a little cash out of a box.  Shove the card in, punch in a four digit code, tell it what you want and get the hell out of my way.  There is no reason, NO REASON, why that operation should take as long as it took you today.  From the look on your face while you were performing these very complicated operations, it’s obvious that you were clearly outside of your capabilities.  It’s OK.  Everyone has things that are beyond them, and you simply need to accept that breathing is just about all you can handle. 

And look, I’ll be honest with you, I really don’t care if you decide to take another whack at ATM operation again, but if you ever get in front of me again I’m going to take that card away from you and insert it somewhere other than in the indicated slot.

If you know what I mean. 

Dear Madonna

Stop.  Please.

In the name of all that’s holy, please stop this assault on my eyes. 

Seriously.

Best regards,

The Hoosier Illuminati

PS: It sure ain’t 1979 anymore, is it? 

While we’re on the subject of what Madonna ought to stop doing (and I realize a post on that subject could go on for quite some time,) I bring you this:

Madonna, who turned 50 this month, kicked off her Sticky & Sweet Tour on Saturday night at Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, Wales. The BBC reported that the two-hour show took a political turn when, in a lead-in to a remixed version of “Like a Prayer,” a video sequence showed flashing images of destruction followed by pictures of Hitler, Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe and then Senator John McCain. Senator Barack Obama popped up in another video interlude, but his montage included Gandhi, John Lennon and Al Gore.

At this point I’m afraid I must invoke Godwin’s Law and declare Senator McCain the victor in this race to the bottom.  Congratulations, Mr. President.  Please encourage Meghan to wear something really nice to the ball.  If you know what I mean. 

I would like to take this time to thank Barack Obama

for this gift of unimaginable charity to President McCain.

Seriously, is there enough room in the Pepsi Center for those two egos? 

What a beautiful ticket.  Obama can’t speak without a teleprompter telling him what to say and Biden can’t write without a book by Neil Kinnock to crib from.  Unless McCain picks David Duke to be his running mate, how can he possibly screw this up?  All he has to do is sit back and let the infighting on the other side take its course.  It’s absolutely amazing, the Dems are going to lose yet another can’t lose election. 

“Very good, sir.”

Attention, fans of Jeeves & Wooster:

The Complete Jeeves & Wooster DVD Megaset is on sale for $47.97 in the A&E Shop. 

No clue how long that has been going on or for how long it will continue, but it’s still $79.95 at Amazon. 

We need a Drones Club in Indiana.  I’d far rather belong to that than the Freemasons. 

Karen Hensel’s hair

WISH-TV watchers, have you noticed Karen Hensel’s hair lately?  Good Lord she’s letting it grow long.

And I wish to register my unqualified approval.  Props to Karen, who was already really hot, for going for the bonus points. 

The True Gentleman

The True Gentleman (John Walter Wayland - 1899)

The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds
from good will and an acute sense of propriety
and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies;
who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty,
the obscure man of his obscurity,
or any man of his inferiority or deformity;
who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another;
who does not flatter wealth,
cringe before power,
or boast of his own possessions or achievements;
who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy;
whose deed follows his word;
who thinks of the rights and feelings of others rather than his own;
and who appears well in any company;
a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.

I have overcoat swatches

Michele sent me some tweed swatches, I just received those yesterday.  I think I’m going to have it made up in a Scottish Porter & Harding fabric called “Levin.” No pics of it as an overcoat, but here it is as a hacking jacket.

I think that will be brilliant as an overcoat.  It will work with either city or country colors.  Tweed by definition is a country suiting, but all of Indiana is the country, really.  Levin is one of those fabrics that will look like whatever you wear it with, and the subtle red windowpane will give the fabric a little extra interest.  Porter & Harding fabrics come at a bit of a price penalty, but I think it’ll be worth it.  I got an e-mail from Michele today saying that they’d just gotten some new fabrics in that would be very suitable for overcoats, and one of them in particular looked like something I’d wear, so she’s going to send me a sample of that too, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to settle on Levin.  I’ll have them make up a flat cap to go with that and I’ll have one nice overcoat.

(I know I said the budget was shot for this year, but I accounted for this as soon as I discovered Bookster was going into overcoats.)