Welcome to The Hoosier Illuminati. Macintosh bigot, clothes horse, motorsports fanatic (as long as they turn right), Anglophile.

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance. --Henry Ward Beecher

I admit it, I haven’t been paying a lot of attention

Who can tell me when Angelina Jolie turned into Morticia Addams?

I may be one of six adults who reads message boards.

I was doing a little research on my soon-to-be-received Blackberry Storm on Howard Forums, where I found the following exceptional review of the unit by “saifshaya”: 

i was drunk playing wit the fone and decieded to take a video of the fone trust me guys if it launches wit the .65 software then were in trouble cause it lagged sooooo freakin bad it lagged from switching of screens and it lagged when i pressed the send the verison home web page was out of wack it was sized weird the good thing was it just needs a software upgrde and this fone will be killer the screen is freaaaaaakin crazy they hve a movie trailer included wit the card and it was like watching a blu ray dvd and the click touch was awesome

Does anyone out there speak GenY?  You’ve got to be kidding me, this guy has a Blackberry?  I miss the good old days when Blackberries were for old guys in suits like me.  Hey kid, you can text on any phone, you don’t need a touchscreen Blackberry to do it.  About half of the posts in that thread concern the tragic 160 character limitation of SMS messages and how they’re being repressed by RIM because they won’t violate the technological standard that establishes it.  It’s a Blackberry.  If you have more than 160 characters of that kind of blather to communicate, send an e-mail.  That’s what Blackberries are for.  Or, here’s another thought:  Blackberries are also terrific phones, place a call.  A couple of posters in the thread bemoaned the evil Verizon policy of requiring Blackberry purchasers to also buy a data plan along with the phone.  The logic of NOT buying a data plan to accompany your data phone escapes me, but these precious snowflakes insist that it’s just another case of a vile corporation extracting money from innocent consumers. 

Another tangentially-related thought, do they even teach English in the public schools now, or is that considered some kind of hate crime against illegals?  Reading that thread has convinced me that English must no longer be a required class. 

As a Republican, this totally does not bother me.

ANCHORAGE, Alaska—Sen. Ted Stevens, the longest serving Republican in Senate history, narrowly lost his re-election bid Tuesday, marking the downfall of a pillar of the U.S. Senate and Alaska icon who apparently couldn’t survive his conviction on federal corruption charges. His defeat to Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich moves Senate Democrats closer to a filibuster-proof 60-vote majority.

Stevens’ ouster on his 85th birthday marks an abrupt realignment in Alaska politics and will alter the power structure in the Senate, where he has served since the days of the Johnson administration while holding seats on some of the most influential committees in Congress.

I’d rather the Dems had their super-majority than prevent it by electing the likes of Ted Stevens.  Either we stand for something or we don’t, and it’s way, way past time for the purge of scum like Stevens from our party.  I wish we could send Don Young away with him. 

It’s not a real docking station

But it sure would look a lot better than this old NEC I have connected to my MacBook now.  It’s LED-backlit and has USB, DisplayPort and MagSafe connectors, making it as close to a MacBook docking station as we’re likely to get any time soon. 

Unfortunately it’s also $899, which isn’t so bad compared to other LED-backlit screens of that size, but I’m guessing I won’t have a lot of luck convincing the company of its merits.  In fact, I’d probably have better luck talking them into spending an extra $300 and just getting me an iMac, which is the REAL problem with Apple displays.  They’re not priced significantly less than the equivalent sized iMacs. 

A REAL barbershop

Has one of these on the wall.  A mounted fish (like a swordfish, not some f-ing battery powered Billy Bass thing) is an acceptable substitute.  My barber has a number of dead creatures, slain by him personally, hanging on the wall.

Now, if you’d rather go to a frontally gifted female hair stylist and have your hair done rather than cut, hey, I understand.  I used to do that myself and there are definitely pleasantries involved in the process.  Just don’t say you’re going to a barber shop.  You’re not.  Barber shops have dead animals. 

The new MacBook has arrived!

Normally the problem with getting a new computer is moving all of your files and programs over.  With a new Mac that’s a snap, the Migration Assistant just works.  The problem is that I also need Windows running on this machine, and that is a PITA.  I’ve gotten Vista installed and now I’m downloading 165MB in 63 updates.  And I’m sure there will be updates to the updates, as there always are. 

The new trackpad behaves a bit oddly in Windows, I’m sure I’ll get used to that.  When I get everything running with Boot Camp I’ll install VMWare Fusion so I can launch Windows applications inside of OSX.  So far everything seems to be behaving quite perfectly though. 

Gotta give the Saudis credit for one thing.

They know a good computer when they see it.

King Abdullah in front of a 30” Cinema Display

Mandate, Part Deux

That county map I talked about in the first mandate post?  Here it is for this election.

That’s a whole lot of red that the president-elect has yet to conquer.  The country has gone left?  No, I don’t think so. 

Change!

The only change I see so far is -5%.

Get on that, Rahm. 

Republican Cluelessness, Exhibit 348459:  Roy Blunt

Rep. Roy Blunt decided he didn’t want to be House Minority Whip anymore, and sent the following letter to the Republican Caucus:

Dear Republican Colleague,

In January 2007, I wrote myself a letter and mailed it to my office.  The letter, unopened, sat on my desk until Wednesday.  Almost two years ago, I wrote that our ideas didn’t lose the mid-term election, we did.  I wrote that it was my intention to spend the next two years holding the Democrats accountable and defining the differences between our parties.  I also wrote that, were we not successful in recapturing the majority in 2008, it was my intention to serve only two years as Minority Whip.

With another election behind us, I still believe that conservative ideas define where the country wants to be and needs to be.  And I believe that together we held the Democrats accountable and that we began to define some of the differences between our parties.

Against the pundits’ best predictions, we stood against a flawed expansion of government run health care in the SCHIP bill.  When many were saying it was political suicide, we gave the surge a chance to work and today we are rapidly handing over control of Iraq to a stable government capable of securing the peace.  We stopped billions of dollars in frivolous spending.  We won an unprecedented number of motions to recommit, defining the differences between our parties and on a few occasions forcing the Democrats to pull their own bills from the floor.  And when an energy crisis threatened our families and our whole economy, we advanced common sense solutions that resonated with the American people.

Yet, in part due to circumstances beyond our control, we were not successful in 2008.  And I believe my instincts two years ago were correct, I can best contribute to our efforts to regain the majority and advance the interests of the American people in a different role in the 111th Congress.  Therefore, I will not seek re-election as your Whip.

It has been one of my greatest honors to serve in the House Leadership.  I have been truly humbled by the trust you have placed in me and by the opportunity to serve our nation.

I am optimistic about our future.  I firmly believe that if we successfully define the Democrat agenda for what it is and present a compelling alternative we will be the majority in two short years.  I look forward to working beside you to build that majority.

Thank you for your friendship.

Roy Blunt

There are a few things wrong here.  First, ‘circumstances beyond our control’?  What circumstances were beyond your control?  Republicans WERE the majority party until they screwed up so royally that the electorate had one of their twice-a-decade fits of ‘throw the bums out,’ which carried over into THIS election.  Beyond your control?  Any failure to control the agenda and the dialogue is strictly of the making of the Republican “leadership,” such as it is.  You owned both the executive and legislative branches of government and did precisely squat with it, so don’t give me any crap about things being beyond your control. 

Second, you’re going to define the Democrat agenda?  Congressman Blunt, here’s a thought.  How about defining a Republican agenda for a change?  The Republican agenda cannot exist solely as a counter to the Democrat agenda.  If you’re going to spend your entire life being “Not a Democrat” why don’t you just resign and allow someone with an actual philosophy of governance step in?  Something that I used to say in another area of my life was, “It’s not enough to be against things, there also have to be things that you’re FOR.” Don’t just be the alternative to the Democrats, be a Republican. 

Republicanism is successful when bold leaders with a clear philosophy of small government, limited spending, limited taxation and support for personal liberties are willing to step up and express their thoughts clearly and rationally, when they govern proactively rather than reactively, when they tell me why they’re great and not why the other guy sucks. 

Should you step out of the Republican leadership?  Yes, you most definitely should.  Take John Boehner with you.  Make room for someone who’ll fight for conservative principles and not brag about a record number of motions to recommit.  You really think you advanced solutions to the energy crisis that resonated with anyone?  The only circumstance beyond your control is the fact that you’re unbelievably clueless about what it takes to beat these people.  Bring on Eric Cantor. 

Seems that Obama isn’t so good at spreading his own wealth.

I know it’s not good blogger protocol to post the whole story, but this is so freaking funny, the whole thing, that it simply MUST be posted in its entirety.

Obama campaign workers angry over unpaid wages

Indianapolis - Lines were long and tempers flared Wednesday not to vote but to get paid for canvassing for Barack Obama. Several hundred people are still waiting to get their pay for last-minute campaigning. Police were called to the Obama campaign office on North Meridian Street downtown to control the crowd.

The line was long and the crowd was angry at times.

“I want my money today! It’s my money. I want it right now!” yelled one former campaign worker.

A former spokesman for the Obama campaign said 375 people were hired as part of the Vote Corps program and said people signed up to work three-hour shifts at a time. Three hours of canvassing got workers a $30 pre-paid Visa card.

The workers showed up to get their cards Wednesday morning at 10:00 am.

“There was a note on the door saying 1:00 pm and then at 1:20 pm everybody was like why is nobody here. They just got here and they’re trying to get it organized,” said Heather Richards, a former campaign worker.

The large gathering of around 375 people prompted police to call in extra officers and set up temporary barricades. The barricades helped keep the crowd from spilling out onto Meridian Street. Police say the several hundred people in line were for the most part orderly.

“No arrests. Some of the people were upset at first because the line wasn’t moving as fast as they thought it should. But we really haven’t had any problems,” said Major Darryl Pierce, Metro Police.

Eventually people did start getting paid, but some said they were missing hours and told to fill in paperwork making their claim and that eventually they would get a check in the mail.

“Still that’s not right. I’m disappointed. I’m glad for the president, but I’m disappointed in this system,” said Diane Jefferson, temporary campaign worker.

“It should have been $480. It’s $230,” said Imani Sankofa.

“They gave us $10 an hour. So we added it. I added up all the hours so it was supposed to be at least $120. All I get is $90,” said Charles Martin.

“I worked nine hours a day for 4 days and got paid half of what I should have earned,” said Randall Waldon.

Some people weren’t satisfied with filling out a claim form for money they felt was still due to them.

“They say that they gonna call you or they going to mail it to you, but I don’t know. We’ll see what happens,” said Antron Grose.

“Talking about they’ll mail it to us. I ain’t worried about that, man. They’re not going to mail nothin’,” said Martin.

Huh.  You mean Obama promised you big things and didn’t deliver?  Wow. 

Get used to it. 

A Mandate?

I suppose it’s a matter of interpretation.  Did Obama win Indiana?  Yeah, he won the electoral votes, but it’s a stretch to say that Indiana went for Obama.

The president-elect has a long, long way to go before he can claim to have won Indiana.  I haven’t seen the map by county of the entire country yet, but I’ll bet it looks a whole lot like Indiana.  A huge win?  For sure.  A mandate?  Maybe not so much. 

Of course, the side opposite will claim that Obama won in the cosmopolitan areas of the country and lost in the fly-over areas where racism still abounds.  That everyone who doesn’t appreciate Obama is a racist is an argument that’s increasingly difficult to make, given that we’re all going to call him Mr. President for the next four years.  I would suggest to our friends across the aisle that they’d better get used to people opposing Mr. Obama’s policies in a big hurry, and that if they’re going to throw the racism tag at everyone who does they’re not serving the cause of racial equality particularly well. 

My point, however, is this:  It’s easy and understandable for us to be down after this election.  It’s easy and understandable for us to believe that we’re shrinking in numbers and that our point of view is being left behind.  Nothing could be further from the truth. 

The truth is that there are a whole lot of us out there.  Far more than Barack Obama and his supporters are comfortable with, and they are very aware of it this morning. 

The truth is that John McCain was never our candidate any more than George Bush was.  Like Bush, McCain was just so much better than the alternative that we had no choice but to hold our noses and vote for him, but none of us were thrilled about the prospect.

The truth is, and this is the tough one, it’s time for us to get over Reagan.  He’s gone and there’s never going to be another one like him.  If we compare every potential Republican candidate to Reagan and find him or her lacking, we’ll never move forward.  Mitch Daniels and Mike Pence are never going to rouse us with their oratory, but they’re still very competent, inspirational leaders of our party.  I’d love to have a firebrand to stand in our bully pulpit and rain brimstone down upon our opponents, but I’m not entirely convinced that person is out there right now.  If you’re out there, prove me wrong. 

The truth is that Republicans, not conservatives, lost this election.  Conservatives were never really in it.  It’s time for conservative leaders to either play ball or go home and get out of the way so someone else can have the diamond.  Fred Thompson, I’m talking to you.  Don’t tease me with FredPAC for four years and then punt.  If you’re serious this time, be serious starting today.  If you’re not serious, shut up and act. 

There is SOME good news.

At least Al Franken lost.

The Loyal Opposition

We’ve been shown for eight years now how NOT to be the opposition party.  Constant petty, sniping, unhinged attacks, it’s been a rather pathetic display that I imagine we’ll see a good deal more of for the next few months.

Now that we’re the opposition, I hope that we can do it with style and class.  This is not to say that we shouldn’t also perform with ruthless effectiveness, but we also don’t have to be what they’ve been for the last eight years. 

It’s now time for the Republican Party to step back, regroup and reclaim its soul from the likes of George W. Bush.  There are a couple of good examples here in Indiana to work from.  We have Mike Pence, who is a true small government conservative whose stock should be at an all-time high.  We also have Mitch Daniels, who runs Indiana as a business, making tough decisions that have brought Indiana back.  There are a few really poor Hoosier examples, too.  For example, anyone we might address as “Senator.”

Barry Goldwater suffered a terrific defeat in 1964, but without Goldwater there could never have been Reagan.  Who will be the Reagan who will rise out of these ashes?

Until we find out the answer to that question, we have a lot of very tough work ahead of us.  Not just preventing them from running roughshod over us, but remaking ourselves as we know the Republican Party should be.  Let’s get to it.

P.S.—Note to self:  No one else related to George H.W. Bush can ever be elected to office again.  Sorry Jeb, sucks to be you, but we’ve just had enough of your family.  Go away and take all the Kennedys with you. 

Lotus Symphony for the Mac:  Finally

The beta of Lotus Symphony 1.2 for the Mac is finally available. Go forth and download it.

It’s based on Open Office and is surprisingly good.  I’ve been using the Windows version for quite some time now and I like it quite a bit.  It bridges the gap between Pages/Word and Numbers/Excel very nicely.  I do think that Keynote is a far superior tool to either Symphony Presentations or MS PowerPoint, so there’s still a very good reason to own iWork.  For the price, however (free!), Lotus Symphony is a VERY nice program. 

BTW, yes, there’s a new MacBook headed for Casa Illuminati.  2.4GHz Core 2 Duo, 4GB RAM, and I have a 320GB 7200RPM WD Scorpio Black drive to drop into it when it gets here.